Stagnant, dry, wet, sabotaging and frustration. Mixed bag of all sorts and fuckery, Jesus what a flippin year!

I think ever since Covid, I’ve had this energy of meh. Decrease in caring for self. I look fucking huge. Pregnant even. Yep, the snoring affects my marriage. I don’t even like how I look but I keep doing the same and nobody coming on a white horse to fucking save me.

I’m so busy trying to make a living that I’m living but not 100% enjoying it. I’m saying that, you can’t enjoy everything at once and life is supposed to throw all sorts at you. If you get it at once, it’s a sign to pay the fuck attention to whatever is being served up on that shit sandwich!

I’m pretty sure you can hear by my language and tone that a big 💩 was dumped at a point which a friend and I discovered late last week. A massive 💩.

But I’m still sitting with the 💩 and the sabotage and the whole shebang……..thinking why can’t I move passed myself? Why can’t I fucking change? And then the message shine brighter than the sun on hangover day. “When you give to yourself, choose yourself, make yourself no.1, only then will you own the change and choose you like I choose everyone and everything else!” So I do think “when will I wake up?” They answer with “NOW!. Stop this madness and illness and depth of sadness. How will your gifts be honoured if you don’t honour yourself? Madness”

Total madness. Total truth. Totally an aha, once again delivered by the guides and angels on duty. Geez I love them all!

So, how will I change this conundrum of life and desire?

Piece by piece. And then piece by piece. On repeat. Forever.

I think we all forget amidst the human life of family, work, responsibility and more that if self isn’t cared for, ain’t nobody else gunna do it.

So I will step, bounce, stretch, shake and bake myself into a better mindset and body image. I say it lots but it’s got to change, my body and spirit are telling me. And it’s got an urgent stamp on it.

Thanks for listening, gunna be sharing the shit outta stuff. Peace be with you and also your heart ❤️,

Pete x